Out of the mouth

With tape measure in hand extended to approximately 5 inches, Alexis inquired if that is how big babies were when they were born.

Taking the tape measure and extending it out to about 2o inches, mom showed her a more accurate size.

Alexis: Um...yeah...I don't think I will ever be brave enough to have a baby.

Book of Mormon Class --Private Reflections

It was super sad to see this class come to an end. I feel like I learned so much, but wont be able to remember any of it. This class was taught by Doug Bassett who is presently terminally ill and his time on this earth is very short. I am so glad I got to be a part of his class. He taught some profound things tonight that I did not want to forget.

He was talking about how the spirit world is right here on earth. The spirits of those who have passed on are all around us right now. The spirits of the 1/3 of host of Heaven who were kicked out and will never receive a body are down here all around us trying to obtain our bodies through whatever means necessary. They will do anything to tempt us to destroy our bodies. Anytime we do ANYTHING that is destructive to our bodies, it is like an open invitation for those spirits to experience destructive things through our bodies.

He talked about when he used to teach seminary and he would give what he thought was an outstanding lesson where the spirit was so strong that he could hardly get through the lesson. He thought for sure he was in for a great day. Then the next 6 classes were nothing like the first. He talked about the difference being the spirits who followed those students around. He said that the things we do in this life will determine the spirits that follow us around. If we are listening to music that is terrible, we send an open invitation to the authors of that music to follow us around. When we go to R-rated movies or any inappropriate movies, we are inviting those kinds of spirits to follow us around. The spirits who are worthy of Paradise can and will be our guardian angels as long as we are doing things that are conducive to those spirits. I feel we have done very well in keeping a lot of the world's filth out of our home, even things that are considered socially acceptable among the church members. I have many people comment on the goodness they see in my kids. They can sense and feel a difference in them. I have often wondered and tonight it was confirmed to me, that because we do not watch a lot of TV and the movies that we do watch are filtered, the more the good spirits will be able to abide with them.

He also talked about the spirit world, which is hell, and paradise. Those spirits who have their saving ordinances done and who embrace the gospel, will go to paradise. Those who have not had their ordinances done and/or who do not embrace the gospel, will go to hell, until those ordinances are done and until they have been taught and embrace the gospel, then they can go to paradise. This is why it is so imperative to get to the temple and do the temple work. Those people are waiting until they can cross over. They are so grateful for the temple work that we are doing for them that they will follow us around all the days of our lives and be our guardian angels.

She's in the shower!

I love calling my sister's house when she is in the shower. I am sure to be entertained by any one of her 4 boys who answer the phone. Here are a couple recent calls:

Sam

Me: Where's your mom?

Sam: She's in the shower.

Me: Okay, just have her call me when she gets out.

Sam: No, when you hear the shower turn off, you call back okay?


The second call:

Ammon

Ammon: She's in the shower.

Me: Well, just have her call me when she gets out.

Ammon: Ok, but Aunt Bonnie?

Me: Yes?

Ammon: Can I leave you a message?

Me: Sure!

Ammon: Okay, bye!

This is what his mom heard from the shower:

Ammon: Mom! Aunt Bonnie called. I left her a message.

If you are interested in this same entertainment, your best timing would be anywhere between 9:00 a.m and 4:00 p.m.

Private reflections-I had a bad day...

Just gonna vent for a minute, but stay tuned, there is a happy ending. (Probably in 2010?)

I have been having a tough time with work.

Since I got my new account back in September, it has been stressful. I left an amazing supervisor and an amazing account and got a so-so account and a tough supervisor. I would use the words impersonal and tart to describe her, which isn't all that bad, but you know, it has just been tough. Did I already say that? When you don't ever get much positive feedback, it doesn't feel very rewarding. Well last night was the straw that broke the camel's back. I won't bore you with the details, but in the aftermath, I went to bed crying and vowed to quite and go find another job. After I calmed down, I just told Heavenly Father that I know we can't make it without this job, but I just could not. go. on. anymore. You know those times. Then a thought came to me. Heavenly Father made it possible for me to have this great job that I can do at home. He put into motion all that had to happen so I could help support this family when the time came. If he could do that, then he could help me through this, right? But how? Learning a new account takes a lot of time and I basically don't make much money in the process. I decided it was a long shot, but I would check with my old supervisor about my old account, and wouldn't you know it, she said the account is drowning with work and she would be elated to have me back. She made me feel like the most important person in her life, just like before. I broke down crying again. Of course she couldn't hear me through Yahoo messenger, so I didn't feel so embarrassed. She said the account is ready for me anytime. Now I am in the process of trying to explain to my supervisor why I would want to leave my current account. She doesn't think I am serious about leaving. They are rethinking their denial of my request for a raise last week. I am not sure at this point it would persuade me. I will update as I am sure this will take the rest of the day to get worked out. But there is hope...

UPDATE many years later in 2018:  I didn't get to go back to my old account and actually got in trouble for contacting my old supervisor.  I put my big girl panties on and somehow continued to work on this account, and it even got bearable.  In 2015, after the workload seemed so sporadic that I was working very unpredictable hours, just to get my hours in, I made the decision to quit and I did daycare full time.  I am still so grateful to this day for the opportunity to work from home, while my kids needed me here.

The faith of a child

Warning: If you have a weak stomach, stop here.

Alexis has had 3 bloody noses in the last 2 days. I had been meaning to put some Vaseline inside her nose to help moisten the membranes up and hopefully help stop the bleeds. Today, when she was walking home from school (7 minutes away), she got another one.

I was outside working and it was still bleeding when she came to show me, but it was not bad. I figured it was almost over. I had her tip her head forward and after a few minutes I checked her and she was holding out a tissue with the biggest blood clot I had ever seen. It was as long as a pencil and even thicker. The blood was now dripping out of both nostrils at an alarming rate for a bloody nose. I had NEVER seen anything like it. She must have seen my concern because she started to shake and cry. I stood by her and helped to put pressure on the bridge of her nose (which I learned later from my SIL who is a EMT that is not the right way) and she saturated many more tissues. I even had her lay back even though I have heard that is wrong too. Another large clot came out and the blood was still flowing like a faucet. At this point we were probably 15 minutes into the nose bleed and I called Rob to come over so we could get her ready to take over to the ER if we couldn't get it under control. I am not one to panic easily, and something as simple as a nosebleed normally would never get me worked up, but I started to wonder if this was out of my hands. Rob had the thought to call his sister, Heather, and she told us to have her bend over without the pressure on her nose, which we did. As we switched out the tissue, there was a third large clot not much smaller than the other 2. Alexis said she felt like throwing up and was visibly distraught. Rob was as white as a ghost and had to walk away for a minute.

I was ready to load her into the car when she stopped shaking and crying and very matter of factly said, "Mom, I am going to pray." As I held the tissue to her nose, she closed her eyes and folded her arms. I am not sure what she said, but the most amazing calm came over both of us. When she was done, she very calmly sat down and said that she knew it would stop. I checked the bleeding again, and except for a few drips, I could tell that it was letting up. I took her into the house and had her sit down. She said she felt really tired, so I know she really lost a good amount of blood. We gave her some water and a protein drink and she ate an orange. She perked right back up and was on cloud nine.

I have dealt with many bloody noses in my life, but I have NEVER seen anything like that one. Today, I know that right there on that lawn, in the midst of panic and worry, God heard and answered a little girl's prayers. When Alexis stood there and folded her arms and closed her eyes in prayer, I felt like I was standing on holy ground. I just stood there and watched her and she seemed to glow. She was so calm. I know that if the veil could have been parted at that moment, I would have seen angels attending her. I just stood there in wondering awe at what had just tangibly and physically happened. I am not sure if I was more in awe of the healing that had just taken place or at the perfect faith of this very special spirit who was MY daughter. I am so grateful to have witnessed that miracle.

Tonight, I put some Vaseline in her nose. I was worried that doing so would cause it to bleed again. Nothing happened and I am hoping never to experience a nose bleed like that again.

Make Believe

Most of you know, I have been doing a lot of family history so we can take those names to the temple to have their saving ordinances performed. It has been an amazing experience and many blessings have come to our family from it. I have seen the Lord's hand in this work. But that will make an excellent post for later.

Alexis and Brooklyn have loved sitting with me at the computer searching for ancestors. We type the names into the computer and add them to the temple list. Sometimes I am working with hundreds of names at a time. After I get them printed at the temple, the kids have fun helping me sort through them and get them in alphabetical order and put them in their proper place in the files. They usually never tire of helping with it.

The other night I found some cards that had been accidentally duplicated so I tore them in half and asked Brooklyn to throw them in the garbage for me. Instead of throwing them away, she asked if she could keep them and use them for pretend money. When I said no for the obvious reason of the mess I would find later, she persisted. "Please! mom. I just want to keep them soooo bad!"

"No Brooklyn. They will just end up on the floor later and make a big mess."

"No I promise! I won't leave them there. If I do then you can tell me to throw them away and I will! Puuuuhleeeeeez!"

"No."

"But mom! maybe I want to pretend to do temple work with them."

Melt. My. Heart.

You wouldn't believe how quick I was able to find some other cards to add to her "temple work."

"Dad is strange!"

I came home the other day and saw what I thought was the cutest thing ever. Brooklyn was walking right beside Rob pushing the tiller. She LOVES being out there with him and working.

That same day Alexis said to me, "Dad is just strange! When I asked him the other day if I could till with him, he told me I was too little. Then today, I saw Brooklyn tilling with him!"

I agreed with her that that indeed was strange and encouraged her to ask again. Then I quickly made the strange man aware of his blunder. Today, I was thrilled to see this:

The class bully

Today we were visiting Rob's parent's ward because they were speaking in Sacrament meeting. They did a great job. So proud of them.

We were deciding whether we were going to stay for the rest of the meetings. Brooklyn was acting a bit scared to go to an unfamiliar primary class even though she would be going with her cousin Amira. Amira was doing all she could to convince Brooklyn to go with her, but she still hung tight to my skirt and said she was too scared. Then Amira said, "Well you don't have to worry. I am the meanest girl in there. There isn't anyone meaner than me."

I guess it pays to be friends with the class bully!

Miss Amira herself.
She cracks me up every time she opens her mouth!

One lash, 2 lash, 3 lash, 4!

Jordan has some amazing lashes. Long and full. To die for.

Today I watched as she pulled one from off her cheek and cursed it for falling out of its place. I laughed at her and told her I knew from experience another would grow right where the other had fallen out. She didn't believe me and thinks she will soon be lashless. This made me think of a couple of funny lash stories from my youth.

1. One day I found an eyelash on my cheek and my friend told me I could make a wish on that eyelash. This was great news to me because I could have used a few wishes back then. So I made a wish. And then I kept a sharp eye out for any stray lashes. When I did find one, I immediately made a wish. Then the thought occurred to me, why wait for one to fall out, when I could just give them a little tug and help them along a little? So I reached up to pull one out, but there was not just one, there was a whole bunch. Wow how lucky was I? I made a bundle of wishes. This method of manually providing the lash for the wish proved much more lucrative than just waiting around... time. and. time. again. I grew out of that a long time ago, and thank goodness, as age is not providing them quite as abundantly as before.

2. One day in 5th grade I was bending down in my seat to grab an assignment from the storage bin under my chair, when what should I see, but a pair of scissors. Please don't ask what got into my brain at that very moment. To this day I could not tell you. But I took that pair of scissors and chopped off every eyelash in between eyelash 1 on the right side and eyelash 1,1825,325 on the the left with one big chop. There they all were in my hand! It was at THAT very moment that common sense slapped me in the face and I wondered HOW in the world I was going to sit up and face the class. The teacher had called us all up to the front of the class with our assignments and I could NOT bring my self to sit up and go up there. And there I sat, for who knows how long, bent over in my chair pretending to find that darn assignment. Finally, when I could not drag it out any longer, I asked to be excused to go to the bathroom. I raced out of the class and into the bathroom dreading the sight of the damage. Man, was I in trouble. I walked around with my head down for the rest of the day and if I remember right, my teacher even asked if I was feeling ill. Just a little bit.

Over the course of the regrowth, not ONE person said anything about it until MANY weeks later when I was riding somewhere with my mom and she looked over at me and asked incredulously, "Did you cut your eyelashes?!?!?!?" I think I was so caught off guard that she could even tell at this point, that I might have lied and said, "No! Why would I do something dumb like that?"

Yes folks, I still have eyelashes, and for all the wishes I ever made, the very best one that came true is being a mom to amazing kids who love me despite my common-senseless days.

Caution: Objects in the glasses may appear larger than they are not

What an experience. To have everything you have ever believed to be right, seem wrong. When my eye doc, i.e. brother told me I could benefit from having more than 2 eyes, I was not too happy, but the promise that my 8+ hours in front of the computer each day would seem less grueling, I relented.

When I first tried the glasses on, I had to call the doc himself to make sure they made them right, because the world as I had known it, was no more. EVERYTHING was odd shaped and much bigger.

Alexis' homework page looked like it had been trimmed by a 1st grader. My computer screen looked like it had been run over. Everything that had once been square or rectangle was now trapezoid or screwywampus.

As I made dinner, there were multiple times that I reached to grab the pan that was NOT falling off the stove. When I opened the kitchen drawer, I quickly saved it from NOT falling on the floor.

When I drove the car, I felt like I was in a big king cab truck and when I drove past a pot hole, I held on for dear life as it seemed it would swallow me whole. When I drove under some tree branches, I ducked.

When I walked outside, I felt like I was on stilts, but the ground was still so close to me.

What was my most shocking discovery? That I miss plenty of eyebrows when I pluck.

What is my favorite part? Rob likes them. He really likes them.

All in all, it has been a real trip. Anyone observing me might have wondered if I was under the influence. It sure felt like it. I don't think I could have had more fun if I had joined one of those kind of parties (not that I would know what those kind of parties feel like, but I could imagine).

Thank goodness it is supposed to be short lived. I don't think I could take it anymore. Today, things are starting to seem normal again, but there are still things that trick me.

Today, I tried to look at my computer without my glasses and everything was blurry. I had to squint real hard to see what was there. Now I know what Doc was talking about when he said my brain was working overtime to see.

Thanks Paul!

Wanna play?

Despite having an abundance of friends, Brooklyn was SOL today when trying to rope in a playmate. It did not help that every last sibling struck gold and was in their own little world with their very own friend. This only added salt to the wound.

There was weeping, there was wailing, there was gnashing of teeth.

What ever is a mom to do?

Not sure, but I'll tell you what NOT to do. Don't offer to be the friend she didn't have. Don't offer to play dolls with her, or doggies with her.
Don't tell her that you will be the momma dog and that your name will be Baxter and she can be the baby dog.
She will only howl louder and tell you all the reasons why that. won't. work!
including that you are too old and may get hurt.



You won't want to hear that.

You may, however, get lucky if you invite her on a mommy, daughter date to get the weekly groceries.

Exceeded my expectations

I cannot even begin to describe the wonderful feelings that I had in the temple tonight. Aside from my wedding day, this was undeniably the best experience in the temple of my life. My husband was there, two of my children were there and without a doubt a host of others who came before us were there. We were there to do something for them that they could no longer do for themselves.

Back in October when Rob's parents gave us permission to move forward with the temple work for their parents, siblings and family, we knew it was going to be a special experience. And it has been. I have lost count of the names that have been submitted. Well over 500+. I have been taking my kids to do baptisms and our ward has stepped in to help with a lot of it as well. But I have been holding onto some names that are near and dear to us. There were 3 of Rob's grandparents and their parents and their parents, some aunts and uncles, etc. We set a date and asked the kids what temple they wanted to go to, suggesting many close to us that they had never been to, but they insisted the Manti Temple, the same one they go to with the youth in our ward. So I made the appointment on Tuesday for tonight. As with any other time something great is set to happen, the adversary tried his hardest to stop it. There were a few fleeting moments today when I was about to throw my hands in the air and declare surrender. But thank goodness I didn't, for once I set my mind to it and we were on our way, it proved to be an unforgettable night.

When we walked into the babtistry, there was another ward on their way out. And then there was just us. It was so quiet and peaceful. The temple workers we so kind and helpful. It was all about us. They kept asking us how we wanted to do each thing, insisting that they were there to serve us. Rob was so nervous because never in his whole life had he been to do baptisms for the dead and he was expected to do them all. And he did a wonderful job. I kept watching him as he did each name. He kept choking up and often had to compose himself as he spoke each name. I watched Jordan and I watched Brandon. How lucky they each were to stand in the place of these fine people, these people who I knew were there. And then I wondered, do these people know how lucky they are that Jordan and Brandon have kept themselves worthy to stand in their place and do this work for them. And I knew that they did know. These wonderful family members will forever reverence their names. They will forever be their guardian angels.

As we walked away from the temple tonight, we knew that we had just experienced a night never to forget. We knew that this temple and this night would forever hold a special place in our hearts.

Practice makes perfect.

I used to make a pretty mean chocolate chip cookie. The kids loved them and Rob loved them. I loved that they loved them. Nothing is better than to please your family with fine food. When we had a hankering for something good, I would whip up a batch.

And then I got lazy.
Or I had to work too much and it got cut from my list of priorities.
The kids would ask
and Rob would ask
and I would say "not right now."
Then a marvelous thing started to happen. Jordan got desperate and she opened the cookbook and started cooking. She made cookies, and not just chocolate chip cookies either. She made brownies and cake and just about anything else we had ingredients for. She got really good at it and I sat back and relaxed.
Ahhhh.
I even let her enjoy all the compliments, for I knew the fulfillment that comes with satisfied customers.

Well it had been awhile and I was missing the praise and adoration that came with a batch of cookies the old feelings of "mommy in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies for the fam" started to kick in.
Yesterday, as I prepared my cooking area, the kid's surprise and excitement spurred me on. I pulled out my old recipe for my cookies and realized I did not have shortening.
Bummer.
I couldn't even remember the last time I had shortening. No wonder we didn't see these cookies being produced. Jordan worked with what she had.

Nevertheless, I needed to bake. Butter, as tricky as it is, would have to do.
Or not.
I pulled batch after batch of cookies from the oven that Flat Stanley would be proud of. While the family devoured them, I could not shake off my disappointment.
The admiration was absent.
The pity was there.
I had failed.
I should leave cooking to the teenager.

A spark of hope came and was dashed just as quickly with this one comment.

Brandon: Mom, you should make cookies more often. You used to make them so good. Now you haven't made them in so long you have forgotten how.

He was so brutally, though innocently honest.

I am going to the store today to get shortening.

St George fun

Our little get-a-way

We stopped at a hotel in Beaver on the way down to St George...just for the fun of it.

I got to see an old friend from Cedar. I used to watch her little boy.
It was great to see them.

This is what we woke up to before we left Beaver. It did not let up until after New Harmony.

So we went on a little vacation. Our main goal was to get out of the cold and snow get our eyes checked since it had been 3 years for some, and 7 for others. So off to supposed-to-be-sunny-but-was-rainy St George. Our appointment was not until Monday morning so we filled the weekend with my 2 brothers and their families.

Here are some highlights of the trip:

Saturday afternoon, my brother Paul took Jordan, Brandon and Megan on a 2-hour mule ride. I cannot really say where they went, I'm not sure I dared to ask. I said long ago I would never go anywhere with 2 certain brothers unless I was on my own two feet. They seem to have 9 lives and someday they may reach that 9th life and I don't want to be with them when they do. The funny thing is, the more reluctant you are, the more of a challenge you become to them to show you what a wimp you are a good time. It took all my bravery to let my kids leave with Paul. As they were riding away, I hear him inform everyone that if they fell off, they would have to get back on because he was not waiting for them to walk out... He is fearless. I am not. My kids are not... anymore. Was there a story? Yes there was a story. This was an adventure with uncle Paul. There is always a story.

Megan loves horses. She dreamed of this day when she could go down and ride uncle Paul's mules. She wanted it more than anything. She has not ridden them much, so I was reluctant to let her go with them. I grinned and bared it. And watched them ride off into the sunset. They were excited. Poor naive children. The incident went something like this.

As they were in some rough terrain Paul hears Megan say, "um, I think my saddle is loose." He looks back and sees Megan in the saddle on the mule's neck. Alarmed, he tells her to SLOWLY get off. But it was too late. At that instant Megan slid right over the mule's head and onto the ground. The mule was all tangled up in the saddle and jumped around until it came loose from his head and front legs.

Megan lived and even got back on. Will she go again? She says yes, but not on that mountain. She has officially been declared part cowboy! Thanks Paul for another adventure! I love hearing about them especially when there is a happy ending.

On the farm.

Saturday night, we took the kids to see Tooth Fairy. Super funny.

Sunday, we went to brother Mike's house and had a great time hanging out with his family and eating dinner and playing games. I was wishing we could have seen more of them, but that was it.

Monday was our appointments. Off to the eye doctor we went. And man, can I just say, that is one cool eye doctor! I am not just saying that because he is my brother. His place is amazing! His staff is very patient. Believe me, we tested their patience and they held up to the lot of us.

I knew there were 2 or 3 who really needed glasses and a couple others who could benefit from them, but I was not prepared to be told we all needed glasses. Bummer. Can you say flabberglassted?

Like always, the good times went too fast. I was sad to see it come to an end. It was a blast being with family! I am sure we will be back for more adventure before you know it.

The End

A great big kudos to each of my kids for their participation in reading and finishing the
Book of Mormon.

6:30 a.m. comes early to some who are sleeping and an interruption to others who are trying to get ready for school. After a many years of this routine, we reached the last page of the Book of Mormon for the 4th time today. I truly believe there is strength and power that comes from reading that book of scripture. I know it is one of the main ways we will be able to fortify our homes from Satan who is trying to enter through any avenue possible. My family is my most precious asset and I am so grateful for each of their efforts to be apart of our daily study.

The writing on the towel rack

By Boo (AKA Brooklyn) I love you so much
or it could say
By Boo I love somwon
(It even has a cute little smiley face)

It didn't take much to figure out the culprit/mastermind/criminal/mischievous 6-year-old behind this graffiti.

Question is, how come I didn't come all unglued and fly off the handle when I saw it? I used to be so good at it. Am I losing my sanity... or finally getting it back? Please don't suggest it's because she is the baby of the house. I am soooo above that.

I knew Miss Brooklyn, who knows better, needed a what-not about it, but seriously, it was tough.

I am sure I can get it off with a little elbow grease and chemicals, but it brings a smile to my face when I see it. Sometimes I wish I could start all over with the patience I have now (which could still improve, I know).

Yeeeeehaaaaaw!

Alexis came and asked me the other day if we were part cowboy. Hmmm. I could see her asking this if we had lived any part of the cowboy world. As of that moment we had never owned a horse or a cow of any kind. Hayeck, we didn't even have one pair o' cowboy boots or e'en a hat.

We still don't.

I had to know the reasoning behind this crazy question. So I asked.

Alexis: Well you know, I just thought that because Grandpa Gooch lived on a farm growing up and he always has a big garden and now he has chickens...

Me: Ohhhhh...(understanding dawning), you mean are we LITERALLY part cowboy! {Insert mental fit of laughter while keeping a straight face}

Alexis: Yeah, in school we were talking about cowboys and they asked us if any of us were cowboys and I raised my hand. Do you think I should have?

Me: Shure thang Miss Bessy Lou!

Now I know where the urge to build a little farm came from. It is thick in the blood.

Facebook=No Blog Family

Wish I had not pressured family into joining facebook. Before facebook we had lots of family fun with our blogs. Now there is little more than a high five here or a poke there in facebookland. Now they just eat and run. Maybe they don't even eat, just run.

Private reflections--Men are that they might have joy.

2010
So I had an epiphany last night. I was reading in The First 2000 Years. If you ever want to gain a better understanding of Heavenly Father as a person, or how his plan is so perfect, you should take a glance at that book. Amazing! I was reading about one of the reasons it was necessary for us to come down to this earth and gain a body. Joy. Here is the first thing I learned. In the preexistence, we were able to feel joy, but only to a degree. It would not be until our spirits received a body that we could truly feel joy right down to the very fiber of our beings. This was one aspect of gaining a body that excited us so much that we would shout for joy as the plan was put in place, so much so, that we would follow that very risky plan to come to this earth, knowing our eternal fate would rest on the shoulders of our Savior, and that if He failed, our ability to ever be truly happy would be naught.

Down here on earth those desiring that joy may seek it out in destructive ways, either through drugs and alcohol, immorality, overindulging in any form, _____, but aside from the actual physical responses of those things, their acts of irresponsibility bring only the opposite of what they were seeking out. It has been said that those who followed Satan and did not gain a body, tempt us to use ours in destructive ways so they can try to feel that joy through our body for a moment.

There was something else that dawned on me and I would love your thoughts on this. If our spirits need our bodies to truly feel joy, what happens when we die? This truth that the spirit needs the body to truly have joy would suggest to me that when we do in fact pass from this world, that capability will be as it was before coming here, limited. Yes, there will be peace/rest/Paradise for those who lived a good life and a lesser _____ for those who did not, but will we truly be able to feel that joy like we did here on earth? As I understood it, no. That will, however, come to us again when our perfected spirits reunite with our perfected bodies in the resurrection, and then, not only will we be able to feel that true joy again, but we will be able to feel the pure joy as our Father in Heaven does.

Sadly, I have not caught the vision of this truth until now, and before this moment, I have merely endured. Until now, this earth life has held little value to me. (I came, I got my body, I learned the gospel and am doing the things I need to, I have my family and they are mine for eternity.) I have been one that clings to the knowledge that this second estate is but a moment. I want this test to come and go so that I can rest and be happy.

But wow! To think of the joy that comes from this life, this estate. When I think of joy, I think of serving others, jumping in the old blue truck and taking a ride around town with my sweetheart, entering the temple and performing the work for ancestors who have passed on and did not get to do that work for themselves, doing family history work with my mother, playing gotcha-last with the kids, eating a chocolate brownie that got whipped up by my daughter with a sweet tooth, sitting out in the sunshine on those first spring days after being sunshine deprived for the last 3 months, seeing my dad and his dog everyday after his walk, signing off from work after a LONG grueling day, hearing my boy teach himself to play the piano, cooking something that makes my family go "WOW!," watching the kids play with their dad. I could go on and on. That is true joy.

This may just be the gospel according to Bonnie, but I don't want to waste anymore time just enduring life. I want to spend my time truly living it!

Down on the farm...

In the spirit of self reliance and teaching our kids how to work hard, we have started planning some fun spring projects. Rob has been Googling, mapping and listing the things he will need.

Project of most importance: Greenhouse. We are hoping to get this done ASAP so that we can start growing plants. We will grow what we need for our garden and let the kids tend and sell some plants to anyone else who wants them. Feel free to place an order...I am sure they would love to fill it.

Project 2: Chicken coop. We have really enjoyed fresh eggs from grandma's/pa's and Heather and Cody's house. I am sure the chickens will come in handy when the grasshoppers are out of control again this year.

Project 3: Nothing like home grown bacon. Never raised a pig before, but thought it would make for a great adventure. Who knows, maybe the kids can enter them into the fair. Rob assures me they will not stink and will not be racketous. Permission granted; 1 set of pens in the planning. I am sure if we had enough room for a cow and a horse, we would do that too...(but we wouldn't eat the horse).

Project 4: Rabbit cages: Shhhhhhh, don't tell the kids. If we can work it out, the Easter bunny will have a great surprise for them. We won't eat the bunnies either. If anyone knows a of a good place to buy any, please let me know.

Project 5: Grande garden. Can't wait for this. I love a big garden. When work was slow last harvest season, I took that opportunity to put up as much garden stuff as I could. What a great feeling of accomplishment!

Project 6: Potato pit. We have heard of burying an old refrigerator. Does anyone know if this would be considered disposing of one illegally?

Not sure if it will happen this season or not, but we want to get some fruit trees, berry bushes and grape vines established.

As of yet, these are just plans, but we are hoping to make them a reality. While I have dreams of it looking something like my sister's farm, I can settle for the humble little farm (if you can really call it that) we have planned. I am hoping when it is all said and done, we will still have neighbors who will claim us.

I just love the spring and I have the fever BAD. I wish I could just go to sleep like the bear I am in the winter and not wake up until spring.