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Thursday, January 10, 2008

I am the meanest mom in the world...or am I?

I sure don't like it when my 12-year-old comes to me all nice-like and asking if she can go to movie night at school. Immediately I started putting up my defenses (like I HAVE any good enough) from not wanting to taxi her around to all these silly things, to not knowing what the movie was (for some reason she didn't want to offer the answer to that) and we started this little cat fight and I sent her off with the promise that I would think about it and then I forgot to have my list of why-nots ready when she came back. Little did I know she had approached her dad too, but he must be the nicer one because she did tell him what the movie was they would be watching.

Hairspray. Ever heard of it? It is ONLY PG and they are watching it at school. That should be a good enough reason why it is ok, right? Well, as we have not yet seen it, we decided we didn't want her to see it yet either. Her immediate and quick wit tried the old line of, "So I have to wait for you guys to watch EVERYTHING before me? Don't you trust me?" and oh yeah this was the best, "We probably won't even be watching it. We will just be talking to each other the whole night." "That's fine dear we can set up a night here for you to do that with your friends." Don't you think that was a fair and smart alternative? Me too.

With all the gentle meaness we could come up with, we told her she couldn't go and that was final. We strongly urged her to take the babysitting job she was offered instead. With a great many tears she walked out the door and told me there would be FIVE people calling her to arrange a ride for her to this movie night. Being that that this was the only argument she HEARD come out of my mouth from the original argument, she and her well-meaning friends had remedied that.

Sure enough there were 5 different girls that called asking for her, wanting to know when she would be back and did I know if she still needed a ride to the movie. With much discust in their voices they would hang up and I know they were feeling so sorry for my 12-year-old (hereinafter called Jordan because it is easier to type) because she had the ONLY mom in the whole school who kept her daughter from going to this innocent movie.

So yeah. I started feeling like a real meanie. What would it hurt? After all, the old young woman leader was taking her daughter. I was seriously contemplating going to trade her places where she was babysitting and watch the kids so that she could go be with her friends at the innocent movie.

BUT! before I made that terrible mistake, DH reminded me of this great resource we have that tells us in DETAIL why we don't want Jordan to see that movie anywhere other than our Clearplay DVD player and then maybe not even then. As he checked out this movie on kids in mind, I was SHOCKED to say the least that they would play that movie for my daughter and her friends and all the other hormone ridden kids that go to that school. Where is their judgement?!?!?! I will be calling the school. Please feel free to give me any advice as to what to say to these clueless movie-choice-makers. Here is a little of what kids in mind had to say to me:


Ok never mind it is too long. Go here to validate my concerns.

So, what's the verdict? Am I way overreacting? Was it worth having my daughter hate me (yes I know she must surely be feeling that way, as I'm sure I would have felt that way about my mom if she was ever that mean. She was crying for crying out loud! Literally.)? Or am I really just clueless myself? I am beginning to wonder, when did things do a great big flip flop? When did saying "no" to immorality and filthy language become the minority?


Please enlighten...

7 comments:

Pineapple Princess said...

Here goes. . .how in the help, did this movie get a pg rating? Sorry to swear, but after reading the rating, I am so mad (and I have not even had the experience you just did.) You know, you kinda feel ok about a 12 year old being able to watch a pg movie these days, cause everything else is so bad, but whoa. Tell her, she is not the only one who wouldn't be watching it, her cousin would have been home too!

WoW said...

If I had had the resources you now have to check things out beforehand, I could have been a meaner mom with better ammunition. I mostly had to rely on the spirit when it came to sleep overs for instance and the battle never ended. Parents can never never give up their role - not to say I did a perfect job and probably gave in too many times, trusted too much or was often deceived by determined children. WoW

Sharebear said...

Reading it there sounds so horrible. I guess I must be so desensitized that I probably would have watched it and not noticed a lot of that stuff. My problem is a husband who will let the kids watch whatever the h- they want whenever they want and doesn't seem to get it when I protest. It's a good thing he isn't the one to stay home with them all day everyday. Way to stick to your guns. Jordan will thank you for it one day, just like we are thanking Wow for teaching us.

Tamster said...

Even before reading the info. about the movie, I was thinking you were right to do what you felt was best, despite her complaints (and despite knowing how it felt to be her age, or maybe because you know how it felt). After reading about it, I KNOW YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!! Yikes! I, too, was thinking I can't believe that was PG with what all is in there. I imagine if I were watching it, though sad to say, I (like Sharebear) probably wouldn't notice a lot of what they said because I'm so used to it. But for some reason, when you read about it, it stands out a lot more clearly--and it stands out AS WRONG!!! I'm proud of you, Bon! And I'm proud of Rob, too! She'll thank you one day! :-)

BonBon said...

Ok, so this is what I am getting from you so far...

1. I was too harsh on the "where was their judgement call?" because we have all become too desensitized (including me) to notice the things that Kids in Mind picked out.

2. AFTER seeing what Kids in Mind picked out and alerted us all to, we have come to the conclusion that it should not have been rated PG and I did the right thing in keeping Jordan home.

3. I can still call the school and chew them out but being a little bit more understanding at their bad choice in movie because like all of us we wouldn't have picked out all of the subtle immorality/filthy language either.

4. Kids in Mind is great for helping us detect even the smallest amounts of "dog poop in our brownies" and we are all going to use it more often to protect our kids from the subtle garbage in movies. (Yes, you too Cory!)

I am still open for more advice as to this situation...

Glen said...

Absolutely - let the school hear from you - you need to be heard as a parent about the obvious dog poop they are feeding our children. Make your voice heard or you are condoning what they are doing. Eventhough you protected your daughter, everyone else she associates with is being conditioned to believe it is alright to behave immorally. Ask the school if they will make it a policy to require your knowledge of and permission for what they are dishing out to vulnerable young people. The media as well as the school needs to be held accountable.

Tamster said...

Amen to what Wow said! :-)