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Saturday, December 29, 2007

Oh my FLOODS!

I am sorry to say that I have used my quota of swear words for the year. It couldn't be helped. Ever since I learned we were going to be staying in my parents house with a dungeon/storage unit for a basement, I worked hard to prevent what happened this morning. (Don't worry mom and dad, the Lord protected all of your stuff!) I will expound...

Swear word #1: 5:00 a.m. this morning (Robert had just left for work at 4:30): Jordan comes running up from her bedroom (in the dungeon basement) and wakes me from my visit with Sharon. (I was holding one of her babies and she had moved far away and it took me so long to get there.) "Mom, there is water POURING into the basement and it is all the way into my room."
What the @%*@&?!?!?

I jump out of bed and run down stairs to see what looks like a burst pipe literally spraying water EVERYWHERE!


I have no idea where the shut off valve is, so I run to grab the phone, not having any idea of who to call. As I am dialing an unknown number (my family is in trouble when there is a real disaster!), Jordan informs me that she found the culprit...

Swear word #2: ROBERT!!!!



I grab the plunger and lift up the stuck handle, to stop the CONSTANT flow of water pouring
out onto the floor. For at least 30 minutes water had been entering the basement anyway that it could find, including but not limited to the heat vent!

I go back down stairs to assess the damage and find a mess from H. E. double toothpicks!

Not only is water all over the floor and entering the rooms and getting all of our boxes of stuff wet, it is dripping from the ceiling all over it as well. I tell Jordan to turn off the furnace because I think it is entering the furnace too.

Swear word #3: Call to Rob's work: "Rob you left me with a mess I DON'T know what to do with!"

Rob: What do you want me to do? Do you need me to come home?

Me: No. I will try to work on it until you get home this afternoon.

Swear word #4,5,6,7,8: I wade through ice cold water to get the wet vac and try to find a place to plug it in. Kinda scary when you are standing in water.

With Jordan's help, 30 trips up the stairs and one half a bathtub full of removed water later, Rob calls to see how the progress is going.

Me: We are still doing ok but can you bring some new boxes home when you come? We will need some.

Swear word #9: It is 60 degrees in the house and the furnace in fact does have water in it, and will not work. I am chilled to the bone and welcome Rob's call that he is coming home to help me. I take back one of my swear words. Rob opens the furnace and uses the blow dryer to try and dry it out. No luck.

Swear word #10: I have to break down and call the service repair man and that is like pulling teeth with me. He comes a couple of hours later and replaces a part and turns it on.

Swear word #11: The smoke alarm in the kid's room starts blaring. I run in there and start looking for smoke. None. The SMELL of the wet heat vents is rampant and is determined to be the cause of the alarms. I go back and check in with the repair man as he is pulling out the motor and other various parts to clear out more water. More mental swear words.

Swear word #?: There is a PILE of garbage that is piled up on the porch from our excavation through the water soaked debree, that I don't know what to do with. Time to call in the troops. Thanks Grandma and Grandpa Smith for helping to haul away the mess!




The rest of my swear word savings: The repair man tries the furnace again and all the smoke alarms in the whole house go off. I am hoping he knows what he is doing. All I can think about is the house that blew up last year in Saratoga Springs. As Jordan and I are praying to the smoke alarms, the repair man hands me the bill.

Swear words from my reserves: Over one and a half hundred dollars later, the repair man was gone, the heater was warming us up one more time, the majority of the water is removed, the salvageable items were reboxed and the floor was drying.

Now, was that as agonizing for you as it was for me?

A special thanks goes out to the following:

Jordan! She is really the hero in this saga! Any more time lapse and I would have been throwing out much of mom and dad's storage as well...

Rob! He has helped me appreciate all the mornings I didn't have to get up and play around in ice cold water and what not! But most of all for coming home and helping with the overwhelming project. He also ran to 4-D plumbing and got a new part for the toilet so that would NEVER happen again!

Grand Smiths! For jumping up that early in the morning and hauling all the damage away.

The repair man! As hard as it was to dish out that much money especially right after Christmas, I would never have been able to do what he did. The first minute the alarms went off, I would have been calling (or trying to call) 9/11 to come and save my family from an imminent explosion!

All the kids for hauling stuff up stairs and keeping the rest of the house under control!

And last but surely not least, to the divine intervention that kept this situation from being even worse! I truly believe that He kept that water from finding its way to my parent's things. I know this because it went EVERYWHERE else. So yes I am VERY grateful!

Friday, December 28, 2007

After-Christmas-math



I found Chocolate, candy, crackers, cheese, nuts, jello, rolls...

and ate them!





This is a summary of how I feel after 10 pounds of chocolate, 3 pounds of crackers, 5 pounds of cheese, 1 whole ham, 3 packages of little smokies, and 25 pounds of other miscellaneous foods and such!

Oh yeah! I have truly assaulted my body this holiday! One more bash to survive and then it is on to my new diet!

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Sunday Showers

Meet the offender!





Meet the peacemaker.





Now meet the recipient.


Offender is accused of taking too long in the shower, thus depleting the hot water supply.

Peacemaker took a record breaking shower, in cold water, in the name of saving the recipient what little hot water had regenerated by the time she was ready.

Recipient was not really the recipient and also took record breaking shower because there was one more unsuspecting subject needing a shower!



Mom was glad she took her shower last night!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Brooklyn funnies for today


Brooklyn was walking past Jack (name has been changed to prevent further humiliation) as he was passing gas. She said, "Yooooou FARTED! Excuuuuuuuse YOU!"


And last but surely not least...



Brooklyn must have an obsession with noses, because she inquired as to why moms and dads have hair in their nose.



My first reaction was one of shock. "ME?!?!? MY nose hair is not visible is it?"

Brooklyn: "Yep!. WHY do grownups have hair in their nose?" Trying to hide the damage to my pride and knowing that this child has a problem with eating her boogers, I took this perfect teaching opportunity and I didn't hold anything back.

Me: "Well, we ALL have hair in our noses to catch all the dirt, grime, germs and nasties in the air so it doesn't get into our bodies. And then YOU go and pick those boogers and EAT them. Gross!!!"

She let out a nervous laugh and turned green. I was sure I had cured her of her appetite for the waste in her nose, until later...but I'll spare you the details.

WHAT am I to DO?!?!?

Dr. Dirk, is there a cure for this disease? Is there a surgery to remove the offending digit/s? Are there adverse effects to shaving all her nose hairs, so as to stop the booger forming process?

Dr. Paul, can I tell her that she will go blind if this nastiness continues? Is it wrong to scare her into stopping?

Please tell me what would have worked for any of you (if you would have had a booger eater).




Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Saved by the pantaloons!




Mother Nature added insult to injury to an already bad day, by playing a cruel joke on this poor, unsuspecting, must-have-been-tardy-to-where-she-was-going woman!

Hey! That looks a little bit like someone I know behind her!






Monday, December 17, 2007

Baking brownies with my mom. By: Jordan

My mom said she was blogstalking (whatever that means) and found these delicious brownies she wanted to make with me...





Well here is our brownies before we did all that mint stuff with them.





Now we made the mint frosting.









We put green food coloring in it.




Then spread it on the brownies.




No, we didn't let dad take a piece of the brownies.
Instead we had to let picky Brandon take a piece out before putting mint on it. But look at the tiny piece HE got compared to the whole pan WE got to eat!




Next, we started mixing the chocolate frosting to go on top.







We spread that on. Just when I thought it was time to eat them, we had to put them in the freezer to set up!







Here is the final results. Can you see the difference?








And wala. Here is our fabulous brownies that i still didn't get to eat until at least 2hours later. JK!!



Friday, December 14, 2007

Bappy dirth hay yo tou!














Moday is ty bad's dirthday! E is hixty seight. Het's lear it mor the fan!

When I was little I thought my dad had be the slowest person I knew. When he had had enough of my shinanagins (and that took quite a lot because he was also the most patient person I knew), he would start to undo his belt. I knew then that I better start running. And running I did. Somehow I was always able to run faster than that grown man. So fast in fact, I was always so far ahead of him that I never even saw him again for a good couple of hours. I always found great hiding places to hide too and he NEVER found me. I was always so proud of my get-away that I just knew when I had kids they would never outsmart me like that, because I knew all the tricks. Turns out time makes you slow down a bit and just when you thought you were pretty smart, you learn how to be grown-up smart. While I don't wear belts, I do have a wooden spoon or as some would recall, a hearing aid...

Thanks dad for "letting me get away (out of your hair)" from you, for having "mercy" on me all those times that I deserved a swift kick in the butt, and for teaching me to do the same favor for myself, I mean for my kids!

My dad had to be one of the most compassionate men I knew! I remember many nights when we had a stranger sleeping out on our lawn, or the many times that my dad invited the missionaries over for dinner at the last minute, (yeah we can all have fun with that one.), or all the hours he spent cleaning up after all the ward parties, town weddings, town meetings, and what not. If you have ever driven through Mona, or Alaska, then you probably have been saved from a flat tire as my father has cleaned the roads up of any, and all sharp objects that might puncture your tire. There are so many other things but I'm sure others would want to share those.

I am grateful for all the things my father taught me to enjoy. I have such a love for nature and simple things like the smell of fall in the air and the sound of geese as they are passing through. I was walking with him last fall before he left and he showed me a weed that was growing that smelled like fall. It smelled so good and I had to go and find some this fall. Who would have ever thought that they would miss the smell of sage brush so much that they would want you to send them some in the mail because it doesn't grow where you live (Shellbell?).

One of the other things he taught me, was a love for God and America. He taught me to be educated and learn all I could so that I could make right choices in leaders who would preserve our freedoms and liberty.

Thanks dad! I know there is so much more and I didn't even do you justice! But I know that the rest of the family will have more things to share and I will leave it to them.

I love you so much and I am so grateful to you for serving a mission. Our families are so blessed for that! Your sacrifice is so near and dear to my heart! There are untold sacrifices I am unaware of, I know, and for that, I am forever grateful!

Love, BonBon.

P.S. That nose looks strangely familiar...

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

My mother told me I should never say the d-word...

I have to defend myself on account that I let an undesirable word pass between my fingers and the keyboard in a comment forum. I have found that I have had a problem with swearing (one or two words in particular) off and on since I was a young girl. I used to go over to my best friend's house and her mom would swear, and I would sometimes find it funny.

On occasion I would hear those words pass between my own mother's lips (probably because she and my best friend's mom were friends) and I still remember what she looked like when she said one in particular. She would clench her teeth and fists while she stomped her foot. I believe she has since then repented because she is now on a mission and she used to say 'cancel, cancel' a lot.

I remember one time when I was young, letting an unfavorable word pass between my lips and my mother had her finger in my face and asked where I learned that from and if I had EVER heard her say that word. I heard my mind say yes, but my mouth was smarter and it said, no.

Here are a few things I have learned as I have been trying to dispose of this bad habit:

1. It is ok to say the word as long as you add or delete letters from the actual word itself. (I learned this from my DH because he truly never swears and this is why.)

2. It is ok to say the word if there is a baby falling down the stairs backward.

3. It is ok to say the word if you say 'cancel, cancel' afterward.

4. It is NOT ok to write a nasty letter filled with language, to a friend who always wanted to fight because she will take it to your mom.

5. As long as it is only once a month it is not considered habitual. I am NOT habitual and that is why I had to delete it from another comment.

6. There is no swearers anonymous to help you if it was habitual.

7. If you ask your mom if the b-word is a swear word and she says no, don't believe her because she is probably not paying attention to your question and probably thought you were saying dastard. She will, however, correct herself later (with her hand) after you call your little brother that abominable b-word.

8. Soap is a good deterrent when you are little and tempted to swear at your sibling, but not so effective when you are a grown up, because your mother is not around to administer it.

9. And last, but surely not least, I take full credit for this problem and I release my mother from any influence my brain thinks she may have had, and forgive her for letting me play with a friend whose mom swore, because she did not know.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Can you find the 3?

Brooklyn needs your help. Or maybe I do.

I was asked by this little darling the other day why we have a 3 on our nose. Can you find the 3?




How about now?



Sunday, December 9, 2007

How did they do?

What a stressful day at the Smith household. Too much anxiety=untold hours of torture for the rest of the family, countless hours of being guinea pigs for their "practice", and many sincere words of encouragement including but not limited to the following from Alexis who was also the "reverent child" today...




This was shared in Rob's talk and brought great laughter from the audience.

Jordan was first and took only 3 of her 5 minutes. She was so worried that if this happened, the bishop would be upset with her. What a relief for her to find out that the bishop still loved her talk and would remember her in the future when he needed a short talk.

I was so pleased with her confidence. I was so worried that she would get up there and look down the whole time and mumble through her whole talk because she is so self conscious, but she didn't. She had a smile on her face the whole time, talked clear and looked up occasionally. She did a GREAT job.

The bishop's wife was next and Rob was last. So yes, he was able to pull from his memory more of his phone call from Brother Smith.

He did WONDERFUL! He was left with extra time and he was able to fill that time. I was so proud of him and could not have done a better job if I had been asked! Just email me if you want a copy of his talk.

If any of you have ever given a talk in sacrament meeting, you can probably recall the euphoria that comes from the spiritual high that you get from giving a talk. It is great to see these two who are not used to getting up and doing this, on fire! I think they could do it again!!!

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Are you awake?

On Sharbear's post about terrible two's, the comments turned to husbands who sleep too sound to be of any great help to us wives at night. So on that note, get this!

Rob knew that Brother Smith was trying to get a hold of him to speak in our sacrament meeting. So when he called at 9:30 the other night while Rob was sleeping, I handed the phone to Rob and told him it was Brother Smith and he should probably answer it. So Rob rolls over, sits up and clears the sleepy voice out of his throat before he answers.

I hear this. "Oh no, that's fine. No, we were just getting ready for bed (at this point he had already been asleep since 8:00). Ok. Yeah I heard you were trying to call. Um...yeah. How long? Ok. Yeah I can do that. Goodbye."

Me: How long do you have to talk?

Rob: 15 minutes.

Me: What are you speaking about?

Rob: Same as Jordan.

Me: What kind of blessings do you think we have gotten (convinced for a moment myself that he was really just getting ready for bed)?

Rob (agitated with me): I'll think about it tomorrow."

The next day while I am talking to him on his way home from work he tells me that he guesses he got out of talking because Brother Smith never ended up calling him...

Friday, December 7, 2007

Speaking asignment

Rob and Jordan's world was rocked yesterday when they got the dreaded call.

It went something like this: "This is Brother Smith, I was wondering...".

They were asked to speak in our church on how our family has been blessed by the Lord, and here is me...



"ME! PICK ME! That is my song and I know how to sing it!!"

No, I am not crazy. I don't really want to speak in front of everyone, but if there is anyone on this planet who can talk about our families blessings, that would be ME! I even had Rob's whole talk written for him in my mind this morning. I pictured myself up there at the pulpit laughing and crying through the whole thing!

But alas! It was not I that was asked to tell about how our family was put into the fiery furnace of affliction to be tried and tested as Job was, (not quite as bad as Job but it felt like it sometimes). It was not I that was asked to tell about how our family took a challenge and doubled our fast offerings once so we could be more blessed, only to be blessed in ways that most would not understand. (Great and true story. Worthy of sharing sometime! Like in sacrament meeting...)

I am really NOT trying to be sarcastic. There is a sweet lesson to be learned from our families trials in this life and I would love to tell it. I have determined to sit down one day and write it all down, but not for Rob to use for his talk. I would NEVER rob (no pun intended) him of this opportunity to share the sweet lessons he has learned from our family's mishaps, I mean blessings. Besides, had we not gone through all we did, I can testify that Rob would not be ok with the idea of giving a talk in sacrament meeting.

Look forward to a summary of Rob and Jordan's talk. I think I am more frightened for Rob getting up there than I would be myself, and despite my supposed enthusiasm above, that would be pretty darn scared!

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Alexis' Christmas List (first draft)

(To be read with a tranquil tone like those used in general conference)

With the Christmas season upon us, we all hope that we have instilled in our children the lessons of charity and giving to others. We desire that they will be more thoughtful of others and not selfish.

So it is with me.

Enter darling Alexis...


(Normal tone)

She presented me with a list for Santa that she wanted to clear with me before sending. After reading the list we decided that it would make a great first draft. I have taken the liberty of translating it for you below with all of the original spelling and grammar.


(Stuck up tone)
Dear Santa,
(I want a) petshop, 20 barbies, 30 barbie clothes, all the barbie tv shose, and A DVD player of my own, and lipsticks that are sparcaley blue, a sparcaley purple, a sparcaley pink, a sparcaley red, a sparcaley green and could you make them all dark? thanx, good by.


After we discussed that Santa had to get permission from mom before he can bring DARK makeup, then she decided not to even ask.

(Where did I go wrong? tone, i.e. a tone of despair)

But no, that is not the saddest part about this letter. Only bratty kids on TV ask for so much from Santa. Only the spoiledest of rottenest kids would think of asking for all of this. Laura Ingalls would never ask for so much. She wouldn't even ask her father for a penny, ONE stinking penny to get a pencil for her slate that she needed for school!

(Relief tone)

Oh yes this is just a FIRST draft. Santa can not see this first one. I have to help her see the light is all. Yest that is it. She just needs to see the light. Maybe if I give her the Island Princess movie tomorrow she will feel all better and wont ask for so much.






"I thought it was cute!"




Jordan and I were making dinner, sharing mommy daughter time together when she decided to tell me about a girl at school. This girl had apparently put a stripe of PINK highlight in her hair...

Jordan: Yeah the principal told her she couldn't come back until she took it out.

Me: Did he send her home?

Jordan: Well, he just told her she couldn't come back until she fixed it.

Me: That's great! I'm glad he isn't letting her get away with that.

Up until this point I thought we were on the same page, but she was not letting on that she is actually on this girls side. She was talking casually like she was seeing whose side I was on, then she hit me with...

Jordan: WHY is THAT great?!?!? I thought it was cute!

At this point my world started to spin and my thoughts were turned to a Jordan with black lipstick and fingernails. Then the picture added a nose ring before I could delete it!

{insert picture of Gothicy looking Jordan. I went to search for an Internet picture and was disturbed by what I saw. I never (or couldn't) pictured her quite like that}

My mind was scrambling to put a lecture together but because of the shock of this new Jordan, I couldn't seem to express my disbelief in a motherly way.

Me (stuttering, with each sentence getting louder and louder): What do you mean it was cute? Pink highlights were not okay when I was going to school. It wasn't even cute! Pink highlights are not okay when you are going to school and it's still NOT cute!!!

Jordan (rolling her yes, shaking her head and barely audible): Well I think it was cute.

Me: What did you say? Speak up when you are talking to me!!

Nobody: Silence...









I wonder if this will be similar to what I will send as OUR picture someday. After all green is CUTE isn't it?

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

I passed!!!

Wow! I took the last part of the test last night and it was so hard!!! It was timed but open book, so you should have seen me. I had 4 dictionary pages open and each one was looking something up for me at one time. It was funny but very nerve racking. After I submitted the test I got an instant score of...
























90%!!!!!!

That could qualify me for the jump start program in which I will be able to do to an internship and hopefully get a good referral! I almost doubted that I would make it into this program.

Here is an email I got back from my test reports that I sent in: (Different than the second part of the test that I took last night.)

OK, Bonnie, very nicely done. Am sending you the small list of errors or "improvements."
You may take the final whenever you are ready. It takes about two hours. Here is the login...

They are still going to review the test themselves and the score could still change...

I will keep you all posted!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Getting ready to take my MT test!

I guess it's time to do a new post that isn't so depressing. Sorry I haven't blogged in awhile but I have been busy with the holidays and studying. That being said...

WISH ME LUCK ON TAKING THE TEST!

I am going to try for the end of this week or first thing next week. I am so worried that I am not ready but I'm sure I will always feel that way! I am still painfully slow at typing and that is going to be a killer. I was hoping I could get my speed up but it isn't happening like I want. I taught myself how to type by looking at my fingers and now I have had to relearn how to type the right way. Now instead of typing 20 words a minute by looking at my hands, I can type 20 words a minute without looking! Go figure.

The test consists of 5 reports that I had to transcribe without a key (I already have those to as close as I am going to get), multiple choice, spelling corrections, and T/F. It will be open book so hopefully I can be fast with my resources.

I may still chicken out and decide I need more time but if I am brave enough...

Saturday, November 17, 2007

In loving memory



You all know that feeling of hearing that a good friend has passed on unexpectedly. That is the feeling that I experienced yesterday! It is a feeling I do not take well. It haunts me for weeks!

Jordan has a good friend from Enoch named April, who she keeps in touch with and who used to live right behind us. This friend has come to visit us since we left Enoch and we cherished her time with us.


Jordan called her yesterday to talk to her and found out that this girl's mother (and my friend) had been killed in an automobile accident LAST Saturday! Jordan was pretty upset that something like this could happen and realized just how fragile life really is.

Her name is Wendy and she was amazing. She had kidney failure 7 years ago and had to go on dialysis. Two years ago she was the recipient of a live donor kidney transplant. http://cedarcityreview.com/articles.php?id=2154 That story is amazing enough and we had the privilege of having April stay with us while Wendy had the surgery. She recovered well and finished college and was teaching 1st grade in the elementary that my kids went to while living in Enoch. So this was a sad ending to a great life that was full of goodness.

Jordan went to the temple this morning to do baptisms for the dead for her first time. She was so excited and all the young women were supposed to be fasting. So Jordan said, "Mom, I think I am going to fast for April too," and she did. What an amazing daughter and friend!

It is stories like these that rock my world! I get so paranoid that I am going to lose someone or that I will die before I am ready. My greatest fear is an unexpected death. I never want to lose a loved one before I can tell them how much I truly care! I never want to live with regret that I didn't get to know someone better.

So go and give yourselves all a big hug for me and make sure that you never take life for granted! Tell your family everyday how much they mean to you.

My prayers are for April and her family. They are amazing and I pray that they will always remember what a wonderful mother they have.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Doran's 50th

Here are some pictures of Doran's birthday celebration (or should I say wake?) from out to the orchard.




Table decorations