Clinic Note

PATIENT NAME: Bertha Magilicutti (name has been changed to protect the afflicted).

CHIEF COMPLAINT: See history of present illness below as there is not just one complaint.

HISTORY OF PRESENT ILLNESS: This is a 21-year-old female who presents today with a myriad of complaints. She states that since starting her job she has noticed increased itching all over. It really depends on the day but mostly when she is transcribing dermatology reports. She also describes low back pain and knee and ankle pain mostly when she is transcribing bone, spine and joint clinic notes. She states that she is worried that her kidneys are not working properly especially since she "transcribed a report of a patient who had acute chronic renal failure." When questioned further about this fear of her own kidneys failing, she stated that yes, her own kidneys do seem to bother her at times. Ms. Magilicutti asked questions regarding cholecystitis as she feels that she may have cholelithiasis. The patient coughed several times throughout the examination and stated that she is sure she is coming down with bronchopneumonia.

PAST MEDICAL HISTORY: Surprisingly unremarkable.

SOCIAL HISTORY: Patient is married and has five children. She does not smoke and denies recreational drug use. She does not drink but wonders if this might be helpful for her at times.

PHYSICAL EXAMINATION: This is a 21-year-old female in no acute distress. She appears older than stated age but otherwise looks normal. Neck is full in range of motion although examination was limited by the patient's lack of cooperation. She admits that she is afraid it might damage her spinal cord as she "thinks she has read about this happening." Speech output is within normal limits. She kept saying things like "arss" and "beaver dam". Neurologically, Ms. Magilicutti was alert and oriented to person, place and time. Lungs: Clear to auscultation bilaterally. Abdomen: Soft, nontender, nondistended, obese. Skin: Normal appearing. Extremities: Within normal limits.

MEDICATIONS: Prayeren t.i.d. and then on a p.r.n. basis, Scrpiturelyn 1-2 times daily and then on a p.r.n. basis, hugitol twice from each family member and then on a p.r.n. basis, Blogilyn read 20 posts each day and write one twice a week, Commenton 100 each day (note: any less and she believes she will not make it).

ALLERGIES: Dirty dishes, dirty laundry, dirty kids, dirty dogs.

IMPRESSION: New onset hypochondriac.

PLAN: Continue to take current medications as this will definitely ease her symptoms. I will also refer her to the loony bin. If she has any other questions she may feel free to contact my office.