Do not call me, I'll call you!

Warning this post will reveal a real mean side of me so if you do not want your image of me tainted please skip this post.

Ok, you asked for it.

For the purpose of as little confusion as possible, I have color coded my post. Proceed with the below code to help you...

My thoughts will be in red.
Automated recordings will be in green.
Operator will be in orange.
My actual voice will be in purple.
Narrator will be in black

RRRiiiingg! RRiiinnngg! RRRiiinnngg!

Hello?

Hi! This is Mark from the satellite TV company. We have a free satellite system just for you! Yahdah yahdah yahdah! Press 1 now to talk to a live operator who can help you right away or press 9 to be taken off our list.

Pressing 9 (that is a fingerprint)

CLICK! (as in rudely hanging up on you and NOT taking you off their list!)

2 hours later...

RRRiiinnngg! RRRiiinnnggg! RRRiiinngg!

Caller ID: 1-702-520-1391 (Oh! man! Why won't they just leave me alone?)

(In my very annoyed-that-you-interrupted-me voice)

Hello?

Hi! This is Mark from the satellite TV company. We have a free satellite system just for you! Yahdah yahdah yahdah! Press 1 now to talk to a live operator who can help you right away or press 9 to be taken off our list.

Hi! Would you like to know how you ca...

NO! I would like to be tak...

CLICK!

How RUDE!

And this goes on day in and day out. I am sure you all agree that there is nothing more annoying than to be interupted from a great nap, or to jump up during dinner, or during one on one time with the young ones, or as is the case with me now, while I am WORKING!

Yesterday I had had ENOUGH! I got on Google (you gotta love those guys, whoever they are!) and typed in "Hi! This is Mark from the satellite TV Company..." and I got some great advice from other frustrated victims of Mark.

Have you ever wondered what "Mark" looks like. I think this must be it.

This is where caller ID comes in. I was told to call them back...

"Hi! If you would like to learn more about how you can save a million dollars (or something like that) on your bills every month through debt consolitdation (where in THE heck did that come from? I thought I was calling about a free satellite TV!) then stay on the line to talk to a customer care agent now, or press 9 to be taken off our list. Uh Uh, I am NOT falling for that one again, I'll wait thank you. I think I WOULD really like to talk to the customer care agent.

Hi! would you like to he...

No I would like to be tak...

CLICK!

Oh that's ok. I have some time on my hands (not really, but for you I think I can find all the time that it takes!)

Calling back

"Hi! If you would like to learn more about how you can save a million dollars (or something like that) on your bills every month through debt consolitdation then stay on the line to talk to a customer care agent now, or press 9 to be taken off our list." Once again, I think I'll hold thanks!


(With a little bit of annoyance) Hi, would you like...

Nope! I would lik...

CLICK!

Same message. I'll wait, thanks!

(At this point I am feeling a little bit of victory as I hear the defeat in her voice.)

Hi, would you li...

No! I want you to take my NUMBER OFF OF YOUR LIST! Wow did I just get all of that in there?

Ok. We are taking you off of our list.

Tha...

CLICK.

Aaaahhh. Much better! Now I can go back to work.

2 hours later...

RRRRiiiiiinggg! RRRiiiinnngg! RRRiiinngg!

Caller ID: 1-702-520-1391.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!

Hello?

"Hi if you would like to learn how you can save a million dollars (at least they didn't try to trick me that they were the satellite company) then stay on the line.... (the livid voice in my head) Oh I will thanks.

Hi, would you like to ...

NO! I would like...

CLICK.

OK I am getting really tired of being HUNG UP on!

I went through the whole thing again. It took me about 3 times until they said they would take me off the list before they hung up on me again, but that didn't stop me from calling again.

Hi would...

NO! I want you to take me off of your list and I want to know that you are REALLY going to this time.

Ok.

Click!

CALLING AGAIN

This time another person answers.

Hi...

I WANT you to take this numb...

Mam we need to know what number you are calling from so we can take you off our list. If you wouldn't have kept hanging UP on me I could have given it to you the VERY first time you called so that you didn't have to pay your employees for all of this time I have so successfully waisted on both of our accounts!

NO problem it is _____ and I have this number listed with the Do-not-call-registry- and if you call back I WILL report you.

Ok we have removed you off of our list. You will not get a call back.

Thank you.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

and then... click.

Now if they had just listened to me the first time!

So....
That is how it is done.

Going back and re-reading as many times as necessary to clear up any confusion is encouraged.

I really have been

Since there have been many daunting tasks that have kept me away from blogging these days I decided to kill two birds with one stone. Talking on the phone seems to help my daily chores be a lot less painful so I am going to try blogging while I tackle a chore that seems to never get crossed off my ever growing list of things to do. Do you mind? My computer desk is a clutter magnet and I have had it on my list of things to do for the last couple of months. So come with me and together we can do it...(do I sound like Mr. Rogers yet, or even Barney?)

This little angel below

likes to help me with my list of things to do and I even tried to employ her to help me with the computer, but even she runs away at the site of this. ("Please mom, NO!, why do I always have to help you?)

I know this is really piggish of me to show you all my nastiness, and I admit this is the product of not scheduling my time (what little I have) more wisely, but I am really trying! I promise. (Oh yeah, if you are a robber then please be advised that none of this stuff (as evidenced by my later pictures) will be here after today. It will all be hauled off to some undisclosed location far away from here. AND if you try to come and call my bluff, I have a really mean dog who will TAKE. YOU. DOWN!

Hello little dust bunnies. How do you seem to multiply so plentifully and so quickly?!?!?




Now to the really pull-my-hair-out part! What to do with all of this STUFF?

I hope I can remember where everything went. I will be lost from here on out when I need something. Until now I always could find it right here...






(If the speakers are bothering you too, I am sorry. The cord was too short to center them just right. Sorry.)

Thanks for all of your help and support. I could feel it before you even sent it. Here is a small sample of the other things I got to cross off of my list recently.

What's on your list?

P.S. I know that I have been REALLY bad lately and I have not given you all the love and comments that you so rightly deserve, and I know that I don't deserve any from you but GIVE, GIVE.

Can't it still be April 22 just for me?

I really didn't forget Brandon's birthday post. There were too many things that kept me away from doing it on that day. So for posterities sake, (and so he wont wonder why I love everyone else more than him) I am going to do one a little late...no need for belated comments from you (unless you don't want him to wonder some day why you don't love him as much as everyone else...)

11 things you MIGHT not know about Brandon:

1. He has been riding a 2 wheeler for 8+ years. That would make him not even 3 years old. He wasn't even out of diapers yet. (But he was out of those by 3!) That little feat would lead us to believe that he was a genius. That belief would soon be dispelled when he turned 4 and...
2. He had a hard time learning from his mistakes as a youngster. After replacing 3 windshields of various people's cars in our appartment complex, fixed the scratches on two, and over a thousand dollars later, his mom sure learned from her mistakes and had him on house arrest until he was 8. Then he was at the age of accountability and it was on his head.

3. Since he was the only boy in our family he is grateful for a little sister who is not into all the girly stuff. In fact she is the first one to tell everyone she meets that she is half Tom Boy. They have been the best of friends since she was old enough to play cars with him. There have been many times she has had to teach him how to be brave and tough. He is amazed by her. (Oh yeah, this is not about Megan.)

4. He is playing baseball for the first time this year. (Well second but we will not count T-ball...) He is doing really well and his team has won 3/4 games. He has a passion for it and if you can't find him, try checking out in the pasture. He will be there with his shadow playing catch or hitting balls.
5. He just earned his weeblos and arrow of light.
6. He is allergic to milk. It makes him cough all night, he will have asthma symptoms from it.
7. He hates to see anyone get into trouble. He will often ask to take their punishment. A little example...The other day Megan was mad at him and refused to do her chores before school. I told her that she would be grounded for the weekend if she did not get them done before it was time to leave. Brandon jumped right in and started to do them for her. Did she deserve it? NO. But he couldn't stand the thought of her being grounded...
8. He has the biggest heart of anyone I know. He is always the peacemaker in our house.
9. When he was little he declared that the only way he would go on a mission is if I could come with him.

10. His heart was broken as a young child when he had learned that his baby sister had fallen down the stairs. His older sister was expressing how she had wished that it was herself that had fallen and not Alexis. Brandon piped right in and agreed with her..."Me too Jordan. I wished it it was you and not her." Very sincere, but he wasn't about to volunteer himself.
11. Like above he does not think much before he speaks and often finds himself saying things that do not sit well with his older sister. One day while we were driving we were discussing how old Jordan was. The younger ones were trying to remember if she was 7 or 8. She was not thrilled with the conversation and smarted off to them. I tried to jump in and stop what would soon become a huge argument and gently reminded them that she was 8 and they should have remembered that because she had been baptized. I then turned to Jordan and told her that she could have been nicer and asked her "what are we going to do with you!?!?" Brandon came up with a brilliant idea and blurted out..."maybe we just need to dunk her again!"

Well I could go on and on but I will stop there. Hopefully you got to know him a little bit better. He is truly one great kid. (After we got it in to his head that it is not fun to get into trouble for breaking windshields and scratching cars with rocks, and a plethora of other naughty things.) I look forward to many more years of being his mom!

Happy Birthday boy!