Your Highness, I bow to you

Dear Mark (and Steve and Michael):

I surrender. I bow to you. You are King. I sit here defeated even now as you call my house.

"Hi this is Mark... do you want to learn more about getting a satellite TV system for your home?"

Yes I do, thank you. I really didn't know what I have been thinking all this time, not having a satellite system in my home. I will take four ten of them. One for each corner of my house and the other 6 to be evenly distributed across the rest of the roof. I will take every package that Dish Network has to offer. I think we will really like the sports channels now (especially since baseball season is over for us and we will be going through withdrawals). Oh and can you please throw in 5 remotes with each system. We seem to lose those pretty fast. Did you say all this was for free? Oh that's ok, I don't want to burden you. I want to pay for all of it. I will pay anything for all of it.

Dear auto warranty people:

Yes I will renew my auto warranty because you are right, I do not want to be without it. My car is about to break down and I am going to need to switch out the transmission soon and I think the engine is on its last leg. And can you please send me a policy for my bike and for the buggy that I pull behind it? I know that every time you call you promise that this is my last chance but then you find it in your heart to give me chance after chance after chance to change my mind. I really value you for that. I have been unkind to you when you call and yet you are so forgiving.

Dear Las Vegas Vacation Authority:

You know that vacation you keep calling about? Did I say that I didn't want to take you up on it or that I did? I can't quite remember as I have not been thinking clearly lately. Silly me! I definitely think I am ready for that vacation now despite what I might have told you before.