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Wednesday, December 12, 2007

My mother told me I should never say the d-word...

I have to defend myself on account that I let an undesirable word pass between my fingers and the keyboard in a comment forum. I have found that I have had a problem with swearing (one or two words in particular) off and on since I was a young girl. I used to go over to my best friend's house and her mom would swear, and I would sometimes find it funny.

On occasion I would hear those words pass between my own mother's lips (probably because she and my best friend's mom were friends) and I still remember what she looked like when she said one in particular. She would clench her teeth and fists while she stomped her foot. I believe she has since then repented because she is now on a mission and she used to say 'cancel, cancel' a lot.

I remember one time when I was young, letting an unfavorable word pass between my lips and my mother had her finger in my face and asked where I learned that from and if I had EVER heard her say that word. I heard my mind say yes, but my mouth was smarter and it said, no.

Here are a few things I have learned as I have been trying to dispose of this bad habit:

1. It is ok to say the word as long as you add or delete letters from the actual word itself. (I learned this from my DH because he truly never swears and this is why.)

2. It is ok to say the word if there is a baby falling down the stairs backward.

3. It is ok to say the word if you say 'cancel, cancel' afterward.

4. It is NOT ok to write a nasty letter filled with language, to a friend who always wanted to fight because she will take it to your mom.

5. As long as it is only once a month it is not considered habitual. I am NOT habitual and that is why I had to delete it from another comment.

6. There is no swearers anonymous to help you if it was habitual.

7. If you ask your mom if the b-word is a swear word and she says no, don't believe her because she is probably not paying attention to your question and probably thought you were saying dastard. She will, however, correct herself later (with her hand) after you call your little brother that abominable b-word.

8. Soap is a good deterrent when you are little and tempted to swear at your sibling, but not so effective when you are a grown up, because your mother is not around to administer it.

9. And last, but surely not least, I take full credit for this problem and I release my mother from any influence my brain thinks she may have had, and forgive her for letting me play with a friend whose mom swore, because she did not know.

33 comments:

Sharebear said...

You know Bon, I think swearing just get worse when you have kids who make you want just grit your teeth, wave that finger in their face and stomp your face as you swear at them.

Pineapple Princess said...

If a tree in a forest falls and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? Furthermore, if a person swears in a foreign language and the swearee doesn't know what it means, is it still a swear word?

Bakayaroo, shito, damu, hello.

sharbear said...

I mean foot, not face. Please don't be stomping faces.

mamabearharder said...

Does it count if the person falling down the stairs is an adult with a baby in their arms? Yes, yes I fell down a few stairs today with my son in tote and found myself saying a swear word! I think it's ok because it hurt, dam*it!!

shellbell said...

I think mom was harder on us older kids, as she found the use of tobasco sauce to be a good deterent. I think she must have given up on that when Paul became addicted.

shellbell said...

Come to think of it, can you imagine the language coming out of Paul's children, even in their infancy, if he were to employ such a punishment.

shellbell said...

And yes, sharebare, (ha, ha, did I misspell your name?) I was wondering about the facestomping thing. Glad you clarified.

JerBear & Co. said...

I don't think I remember my mom ever saying a bad word, but my dad did on a rare occasion. I was actually the one to chastise my father for saying such things, telling him there was no excuse for such language. Thankfully, it was rare.
I don't want to sound judgmental though. Though swearing may not be one of my problems, I have plenty of weaknesses of my own, so I'm not going to point any fingers. Good for you, Bonnie, for at least trying to break the non-habit! :-) Tami
P.S. For what it's worth, the tree still makes a sound whether anyone hears it or not, and it is still a swear word even if it is in another language or no one understands or you leave a letter out. It's the intent behind it that is the real issue. :-)

Pineapple Princess said...

For what it's worth, here is the definition of sound:

sound 1 (sound)
n.
1.
a. Vibrations transmitted through an elastic solid or a liquid or gas, with frequencies in the approximate range of 20 to 20,000 hertz, capable of being detected by human organs of hearing.
b. Transmitted vibrations of any frequency.
c. The sensation stimulated in the organs of hearing by such vibrations in the air or other medium.

In order for something to qualify as sound, a HUMAN organ (ear drum) has to hear it. Thusly, if no human is around, the falling tree will make no sound.

Dr. Gooch, may we ask your opinion?

None of the words in my previous comment were swear words, except maybe hello and I hear it and say it a lot. But I always mean it in the nicest way :0)

JerBear & Co. said...

So if a tape recorder was placed there but no person was actually around, the tape recorder would not pick up any sound? I beg to differ with your interpretation of the definitions. In 1a., it does not say the vibrations have to actually be detected by a human organ, but rather that the vibrations occur in the object with frequencies which would be capable of being detected by the human organ of hearing. But I don't know how we could prove it! :-) Tami

JerBear & Co. said...

Thanks.

JerBear & Co. said...

Bonnie.

JerBear & Co. said...

I

JerBear & Co. said...

needed

JerBear & Co. said...

that

JerBear & Co. said...

laugh.

JerBear & Co. said...

You

JerBear & Co. said...

are

JerBear & Co. said...

awesome!

JerBear & Co. said...

And

JerBear & Co. said...

you

JerBear & Co. said...

do

JerBear & Co. said...

have

JerBear & Co. said...

a

JerBear & Co. said...

cute

JerBear & Co. said...

face!

JerBear & Co. said...

I

JerBear & Co. said...

love

JerBear & Co. said...

you

JerBear & Co. said...

too!

JerBear & Co. said...

:-)

JerBear & Co. said...

Tami

Pineapple Princess said...

Tami, you win, kind of. That is why I was never good at debate. I give up easily.